Contemporary Thinking

"Don't be scared to be free; to let go"

Today, I have realized a lot. I've realized that things don't fix themselves, as well as the fact that things don't get fixed easily/in a quick manner. It's going to take me a while to get things to a point where my life is going JUST for me again, to where I am perfectly content without certain people surrounding me. Everyone says they deserve this and that, when really, you do not. You deserve what you give, and for many many people, that is not a lot, regardless of what you feel that you do for people. There are very few people in the world that actually deserve what they are not given. Very few things are deserved, most things are acquired with hard work, and dedication. To move onto my personal life with all this, I will say that I won't settle. I will not settle for less than I feel like I give, for less than I feel will make me completely happy and content with life. Not going to say I 'deserve' more, nor will I say I deserve what I do not have. 

Some days I wonder why I didn't stay; most days I remember why I left.

Somehow, I always manage to blame my drive and ambition for all the things that go wrong in my life lately. I know I've posted about this before, but it seems to keep reoccurring, especially this week. I've got to stop this. I've got to stop thinking 'well, if I pursue this, what will it jeopardize?' Everyone has to realize that, if you mean something to someone/some people, it won't matter how far fetched your dreams are, they'll be next to you every step of the way. Pursuing your dreams should not interfere with any meaningful relationship you have with someone else; and if it does...then you have to 'grin and bare it,' and remember that this pursuit, is going to benefit you, and you're fulfilling your dreams.

stuff happens. things change. sometimes you need to get to the worst of things before you can move forward with the best of everything; and sometimes, you just have to grin and bare it, maybe holding on by a thread, until that point in time where things come together.

I'm hanging on by a thread. I won't lie. I'm a mess when it comes to you. Eventually everything will come back together, with or without you. I just need to ride out this bumpy ride.