different.

some days i wish i could just curl up into a ball and call it quits for a while. not really sure whether or not i have a legitimate reason for this, but i wish i could do that right now.

to end positively, i've had an amazing weekend. i love college. halloween is SO much better.

i love my roommates. <3

;

"One day, she will tell you that she has had enough."

That's all I have to say, summed up in a lyric of a song.

LEGAL

So I am officially one day legal. I had probably the best birthday I've ever had. I got my tattoo that I've been planning for so long, and I got my nose pierced as a side note. I got a surprise from my roommates, they decorated my room and silly-stringed me to death. I love my life, and the people I'm surrounded by. I couldn't be any luckier. I have the greatest family and friends supporting me. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU!

RIP babygirl, you're with me forever.

12/14/93 - 11/06/01

Forgive and Forget

Sometimes I find it really hard to forget some of the things people did to me. I had to write a paper about my life and how the themes of a particular book related to it, giving specific examples. While writing this paper, I realized how much some of the doings of others have completely altered my life and how I view people and my surroundings. It's always funny to notice how much a person can change your views and thoughts about a situation.
Anyways, other than that, I have had a decent Monday. Sleep deprived, but decent nonetheless. Got a ticket to the USC vs. Tenn game :) GO COCKS! I turn 18 in a couple days, I'm really excited =]

 ‎"and to be completely honest, you're not like all the rest."

-The Spill Canvas

"It was only just a dream..."

I AM SO STRESSED OUT.

On the other hand, I had a wonderful birthday shindig with my family.

My life be like-

Change is inevitable. 

Change is constant.

Change is life.

We'll see where this goes.....:)

Had my first college puke sesh last night. Always a fun time. 

However, I did have an absolute blast.

Birthday festivities with my family tomorrow!

Face it

Today threw me a curve ball. For sure.

People come and go for a reason. While that reason may not ever be fully understood, it holds a purpose. You may have someone who was a huge part of your life, just walk out the door. Miss them, cherish them, cry about the loss, and move on. If someone walks out, it's guaranteed someone better will step in, and everything will be okay again. Sure, you'll have moments were you think about the person of the past, but you'll always remember the great person who is in front of you now. 

Today I had a moment, and I stopped and thought to myself, "why am I being like this? I'm really happy now" and at that moment, I stopped, regrouped, and realized exactly what my first paragraph says. People come and go for a reason. 

"Leave the past in the past, if you want your future to be bright."

My quote. My life.

Goodnight world, I'm happy with where my life is taking me.

<3

Things are going really great lately. I have my life back on track and in order. College really is life changing. My life has completely changed in the past few months. I still talk to the people I care about the most from back home, but Lugoff/Elgin is not "home" anymore. There is no need to come back for more than a couple hours anymore.

I love my life, it's finally right.

<3

---

I'm really happy. Even being sick can't pull me down.

Thank you, World. <3

:D

I LOVE MY LIFE.

that's all.

QUOTES FROM MY LYFE:

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:)

Things are looking up. 

....WAY up!

That's all I have to say.

:) <3

I'm completely happy again, thank God.

I would like to add that this girl, 

Courtney Doster, is my best friend and I love her to pieces. 

Fall Break is going to be amazing!

I got a small circle.

I haven't really had the need to write the past couple days. Things have been going really well for me. I would just like to say before I go to bed thattt, WE BEAT BAMA!! So proud to call myself a Gamecock. :)

I found Stephen at ATO, how random!

I met a lot of really awesome people tonight, college is doing great things for me, <3

"It's complicated; it always is. That's just the way it goes. Feels like I've waited so long for this." 

-David Guetta

I didn't go out tonight, instead, my roommate and I decided to rearrange our dorm room at around 11pm :). I love Marj! I really don't have anything to update about, other than things are gradually, very very slowly, getting easier to cope with, even with random things that continue to try and knock me down. Things are going to work out. :)


Sooooo, I guess I'll write about random things about me, I guess I stole this idea from tbrown.

-music really is the key to my heart
-i'm really close to my family, really close
-i'd rather hang out with a group of good friends than go out to a party
-my best friend has my heart, always
-sweatpants > dressing cute
-kid cudi, david guetta, mayday parade <3
-i enjoy car ride singing with my brother...we jam out
-don't give me candy, i don't like it.
-i'm getting a tattoo in 19 days that means a lot to me
-i have a few planned...:)
-i can be the sweetest person you ever meet
-likewise, i can be the meanest girl you know
-i don't cry unless something really upsets me. it takes a LOT to make me cry
-I LOVE MY ROOMMATE/SUITEMATES
-writing helps my life sort out
-i'm a terrible artist, but it's a skill i would kill to be good at
-i LOVE to take pictures, i really want a camera with an amazing lense
-i hate facebook...but i spend a lot of time on it
-acoustic music <3333333333
-i don't do half the things people say i do
-i love my second family.
-my life is a giant mess, but i wouldn't have it any other way.
-i am who i am. that won't change. take it or leave it. this is me.

OH; this song just caught my attention, have to write now :P

"To remember who you really are.
It's so easy to get lost in; constantly having to present

whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own.

Yet we hesitate to surrender all of our insecurities

Move with me. Move with me.

Only the ones we are most comfortable relinquishing"

Obviously, this shows the world we live in today. Everyone is so scared to show who they really are, except to a select amount of people. People are so quick to judge these days...It's a scary thing to show someone who you really are, 24/7. Live the life you love, love the life you live and share every bit of it with those who mean most.

There's beauty even in the simplest of things.

"So Hard To Cope"

ooooh, Kid Cudi <333


I've got too much to do to sit around and worry about you anymore. Have fun without me. Today has changed my mind soooooo much about certain things, I have so many better things to do than sit around and be sad about all the things I hear.

greeeeeattt day, other than the sick part :)


GETTING READY FOR THE NIGHTLY FESTIVITIES TO BEGIN!

follow me, and you'll be freeeeeee...

It'd be really cool if I'd stop being sick. It'd also be really cool if my phone would freaking work. it would ALSO be awesome if my ipod would stop being lame and work all the time instead of part of the time!

WOOOHOOOO....today has not started well.

"I learn to live; half alive"

It seems that no matter how hard I try to direct myself away from you and anything that has to do with you, something ALWAYS comes up about you. No matter how many people I delete, how many texts I ignore, you always always always come into play. I hate it, I'm so ready for you to be gone. completely gone.



----Today is going to be a good day, rocking the Kid Cudi shirt out in public <3

"Close My Eyes..."

Sometimes I forget how much music can change how I feel. How much it can consume my soul. It always surprises me how much I can relate to a particular artist, and all of their music/lyrics....Kid Cudi in particular. So much of what he says is either EXACTLY what I'm doing, or exactly what I'm thinking. LOVE HIM.

Music and good weather always makes getting over things that are tough, a lot easier.

<33333333

Contemporary Thinking

"Don't be scared to be free; to let go"

Today, I have realized a lot. I've realized that things don't fix themselves, as well as the fact that things don't get fixed easily/in a quick manner. It's going to take me a while to get things to a point where my life is going JUST for me again, to where I am perfectly content without certain people surrounding me. Everyone says they deserve this and that, when really, you do not. You deserve what you give, and for many many people, that is not a lot, regardless of what you feel that you do for people. There are very few people in the world that actually deserve what they are not given. Very few things are deserved, most things are acquired with hard work, and dedication. To move onto my personal life with all this, I will say that I won't settle. I will not settle for less than I feel like I give, for less than I feel will make me completely happy and content with life. Not going to say I 'deserve' more, nor will I say I deserve what I do not have. 

Some days I wonder why I didn't stay; most days I remember why I left.

Somehow, I always manage to blame my drive and ambition for all the things that go wrong in my life lately. I know I've posted about this before, but it seems to keep reoccurring, especially this week. I've got to stop this. I've got to stop thinking 'well, if I pursue this, what will it jeopardize?' Everyone has to realize that, if you mean something to someone/some people, it won't matter how far fetched your dreams are, they'll be next to you every step of the way. Pursuing your dreams should not interfere with any meaningful relationship you have with someone else; and if it does...then you have to 'grin and bare it,' and remember that this pursuit, is going to benefit you, and you're fulfilling your dreams.

stuff happens. things change. sometimes you need to get to the worst of things before you can move forward with the best of everything; and sometimes, you just have to grin and bare it, maybe holding on by a thread, until that point in time where things come together.

I'm hanging on by a thread. I won't lie. I'm a mess when it comes to you. Eventually everything will come back together, with or without you. I just need to ride out this bumpy ride.

byebye world;

deactivated facebook for a while. we'll see how long this lasts..

reasons? :
1. i spend entirely too much time on fb
2. most of the shit on there makes me sad/upset
3. i need to get away from lugoff for a while

Always Not Dull

It always surprises me what life can throw at you. Everyone says all these cliche quotes and act as if there are no exceptions to them. For a while, I was a follower, nearly religiously, of some of these quotes.
One in particular is "no trust, no love." for the LONGEST time, I completely agreed with this, until lately. I have realized, that you can once have trust and love, for a long long time, and then something happens, and the trust is lost; the love is not. There may be some anger and disappointment that masks the love for a while, however, love always prevails. Also, trust will eventually be gained back, so long as there are not continued mess ups and repeated actions.
Another quote, or saying rather, that many people say over and over is that actions speak louder than words. I was a firm believer in this one as well..until I was the person who's words were speaking louder than her actions. You can tell someone, and mean it with everything you are, everything you aren't, and not be able to show it. Doesn't mean you don't mean it, doesn't mean it can't be the truth, it just means you can't show it....yet. Likewise, you may say one thing, and do another. Sometimes circumstances occur, where all you have are limited options, all going against what your words say.

Cliche isn't always right, they aren't always the way to go.
So before you judge someone by their actions/words, make sure you know circumstances, make sure you know the whole story before you go and tell a twisted opinion of how YOU think things happened.

Remember.....when it happens to you, it doesn't feel very good. So why do this to someone else?
____________________________________


Also, I would like to add to this;
"I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now!"


Eminem speaks the truth. There's only so long I can be sad before I make myself not be anymore. I'll be fine, eventually. Everything's going to work out for me, always does. Maybe not in the way I'd expect it to, but it will.....eventually. Just need to wait it out through the storm.