Young, Wild, and Free

Sunday, November 6, 2011

So Different

Everything changes SO fast, it's so strange to me. The other night, I sat and thought about Michael, and it absolutely blew my mind that something and someone who was SO important to me and such a huge part of my life doesn't completely feel real anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he still isn't important to my life, him being around for so long has shaped who I am and I hope nothing but the best for him, with school, love, friends and family life.
It's weird to think that the one person who you would never even consider as more than a friend can end up touching your heart the most. I've definitely learned that the past few weeks, and I could not be more happy with my decision to graduate early from high school. I would not have met the amazing people that I now call my best friends. What would I do without Sarah and Matt? I honestly don't have even the slightest clue.

Any-who, went to mountain weekend this weekend. Such a much needed break from South Carolina and school. You never know what's going to happen when you're with the Tau's. :) Yet, I love them all.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

So Much

So much is up in the air right now. I'm not completely sure what I should or should not do about a lot of different situations and it's stressing me out more than it should. I just want to be care-free about everything other than school right now...but that's just not happening. I obviously need counseling again...story of my life.

DESTRESS:

1. Full Name: Bailey H. Clark

2. Nickname: Boo, Bails, Bai

3. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

4: Male or female: Female

5. Elementary school: Blaney Elementary

6. High School: Lugoff-Elgin High

7. College: USC

8. Hair color: Brownish

9. Tall or short: Short

11. Sweats or jeans: I love them both

12. Phone or camera: Phone

13. Health freak: Nope

14. Orange or apple: Apple

15. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: No

16. eat or drink: Eat

17. eye color: Brown/Yellow

18. Pepsi or coke: Coke

HAVE YOU EVER?

19. Been in an airplane: Yep

20. Been in a relationship: Yeah

21. Been in a car accident: Yes

22. Been in a fist fight: No

FIRST AND LAST:

23. First piercing: Ears

25. First award: Straight A's?

27. First word: No idea.

29. Last person you talked to: Alex

30. Last person you texted: Jake

31. Last person you watched a movie with: Sarah?

32. last food you ate: Flavor blasted goldfish!

33. Last movie you watched: Salt

34. Last song you listened to: "No Stopping Us"

35. Last thing you bought: Gas

36. Last person you hugged: Dean

FAVORITE:

37. Food: MEXICAN

38. Drink: lately it's been Capri-Sun

39. Bottoms: SWEAT PANTS HOLLLLA'

40. tops: I don't know

41. Animal: ELEPHANT

42. Colors: Purple

43. Movies: Pride & Prejudice

44: Favorite subject: None.

HAVE YOU EVER:

45. [y] Gotten Baptized

46. [y] Celebrated Halloween

47. [y] Had your heart broken

48. [y] Went over minutes/texts on your phone

49. [n] had someone question your sexual orientation

51. [n] Gotten Pregnant

52. [n] Had an abortion

53. [y] did something you regret

54. [y] broke a promise

55. [y] hid a secret

56. [y] pretended to be happy

57. [y] met someone who changed your life

58. [y] Pretended to be sick

59. [n] Left the country

60. [y] Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it

61. [y] cried over the silliest thing

62. [n] ran a mile

63. [y] went to the beach with your friend

64. [y] got into an argument with your friend

65. [y] Dated someone

CURRENTLY:

67. Eating: nothing

68. drinking: nada

69. listening to: pandora

70. Sitting/laying: laying

71. plans for today: sleep

72. waiting for: tomorrow

YOUR FUTURE:

73. want kids: maybe

74. want to get married: some point

75. career: no idea

WHICH ONE IN A SIGNIFICANT OTHER:

76. Lips or eyes: both, mmmm

77. Shorter or taller: taller

78. romantic or spontaneous: both

81. hook-up or relationship: well..

82. looks or personality: let's be honest, everyone sees the looks first.

HAVE YOU EVER:

83. Lost glasses/contacts: no

84. snuck out of the house: yes

85. held a gun/knife for protection: no

86. killed somebody: no

87. broken someone's heart: yep

89. Cried when someone/something died: yeah..

DO BELIEVE IN:

90. yourself: almost 100%

91. miracles: i don't really know

92. love at first sight: no

93. Heaven: I'd like to think my family members are in a good place

94. dreams coming true: only if you work your ass off.

96. Kiss on the first date: maybe

TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there anyone you want to be with right now: maybe

98. Do you know who your real friends are: yeah

99. Do you believe in a higher power: i believe in myself

Monday, October 3, 2011

destress.

1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Sometimes

2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress?

PAAAARTY DRESS. duh

3. What would you do if you received a long love letter?

I've always kept them.

4. Group dates or single dates?

I don't care

5. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?

Sure.

6. Are diamonds a girls best friend?

Not mine.

7. Is your hair up or down today?

Down.

8. Do you straighten your hair?

Yeeeeah

9. Favorite mascara?

DEFINE A LASH, maybellene.

10. Do you get your nails done?

Not very often

11. Small or large purses?

lrrrrg. but I don't really carry a purse anymore.

12. In your purse, what are your must haves?

chapstick chapstickchapstick

13. Jeans or sweats?

both.

14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that are uncomfortable?

sometimes

15. Do you text message a lot?

yeeah, only sarah and dean though.

16. What would you do if you got pregnant?

I won't. so I don't care to think about it.

17. Whats your favorite color?

purple.

18. Heels or flats?

Heels ;)

19. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?

PS I Love You. bawled like a baby.

20. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?

I do on the reg.

21. Walmart or Target?

Target

22. Do you wear collared shirts?

Sometimes, I did to work.

23. Are you over the last person you kissed?

Uh....about that..

24. How long ago was your last relationship?

End of July.

25. Should a guy ever hit a girl?

No.

26. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

like 35 minutes.

27. Do you like to wear band-aids?

If I'm bleeding.

28. Do you like skater boys?

I don't like branding.

29. Do you often wish there was something you could change?

YERP.

30. Gold or silver?

silver.

31. Do you like to receive flowers?

I only have like 3 times.

32. If you're not the only child, would you like to be?

No.

33.Favorite sport?

COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

34. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?

depends on the guy.

35. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?

noooooope.

36. Would you date a guy shorter than you?

no.

37. Do you like to hold hands?

I don't care.

38. What is the youngest you would date?

Older, thanks.

39. What is the oldest you would date?

500.

40. What do you notice when you first meet a guy?

helllllo great personality.

41. Is it hot when guys sweat?

technically, they're not just sweating for no reason.

42. What is the best feature in a guy?

i'm a sucker for a sweetheart.

43 Do you miss anyone right now?

yeah.

44. Would you kill for chocolate?

I don't like it.

45. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?

Nope. Don't care that much.

46. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?

If I get a lot of what I want, it's a blast.

Friday, September 30, 2011

missed

"To tell you the truth, I miss everything; everything.." -Train

I'm in one of those moods where I'm just missing my dad. It isn't fair the way he was taken from me, or how quickly it all happened. It'll be one month in less than 8 hours and I still haven't managed to completely wrap my mind around it all. Is this really my real life? Will I not have a father for the rest of my entire life? No dad to walk me down the aisle when I get married, or be there when I graduate college and start my life. It's not fair. It doesn't feel real. I don't think it ever will.

-----------
despite that inevitable empty feeling, I am happy with my life and myself. I am finally letting myself be happy and enjoy the little things. Finally living that "college life" I didn't allow myself to live last year. I have never met so many amazing people and I am so happy I finally have. I'm allowing myself to just live, day to day; everything is so different.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

"grabbed a beer and my old guitar.."

Who is the cutest person you have talked to today?

I haven't really talked to anyone today except Sarah and my fam.

Your last ex shows up at your house and asks for you back, you say... ?

No...

Is the person you last texted single?

Yep.

How often do you straighten your hair?

I fry the shit out of it.

Would you ever go on a game show if you were offered?

I doubt it.

What does your phone do when it receives a new text?

Vibrates?

When and why did your parents get their angriest at you?

I couldn't tell you.

Why did you even kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I wanted to. ha

Was last night terrible?

Last night was fucking EPIC.

Has anyone ever done mean things to you while you were sleeping?

Nah.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?

For like an hour.

Do you scare little kids?

Nah.

What color is your best friend's hair?

Normal color.

What color is YOUR hair?

Hell if I know what this 'color' is.

Are you grumpy or happy?

Tired.

How many people do you like?

I like everybody I talk to.

Do you get jealous easily?

Depending on what happened.

Do you act different around someone you like?

Nope.

Do you find it hard to tell someone you like them?

Maybe.

Are you happy?

Very.

Do you like meeting new people?

LOVE it.

Are you afraid of falling in love?

I'd rather not right now.

Do you consider yourself lucky?

Sometimes.

Are you wasting time on the person you like?

Can't say I "like" anyone in particular right now.

When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach?

No idea.

Does the person you like, like you back?

....

You find out your ex is having a kid with someone you don't like you say.

Go fucking figure.

Who was the last person that you said "i love you" to?

Mom.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Michael.

Do you still like that person?

...

Would you ever kiss anyone over 16?

I wouldn't kiss anyone under 16.

Do you worry your last ex will move on and be happier with another person?

I hope he is happier with someone else.

Are there framed pictures from your parents wedding in your house?

No.

Is a best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or ex pissing you off at the moment?

Friend.

Do you think girls are annoying?

Sometimes.

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?

Not at all.

Have you ever loved anyone named Ben?

No...

Are you excited for winter?

Not. At. All.

What's the most important thing in life, to you?

Being happy.

What kind of change would be good for you right now?

A lot.

Do you have a hard time accepting the truth?

Not anymore..

If you could go back to any time period of your life, what would it be?

I'd like to spend a summer with my dad again, back when I was little.

Do you think girls with tramp stamps are sending a sign that they're easy?

No, but they're stupid.

Do you believe you control your own destiny?

To a degree.

You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, any problems?

Hahahhaha, that'd be so interesting..

Have you ever caught a fish?

Yep.

What was the last beverage you had?

H2O.

Are you someone who worries too often?

Sorta.

Did you wake up before 8am this morning?

Right at 8...

Do you wear eyeliner?

<3.

Do you get mad easily?

Yeah.

Have you ever felt like you were not good enough?

Who hasn't.

Where were you on your fifteenth birthday?

Turning 15 somewhere.

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?

Yeah.

Truth or dare always turns sexual, doesn't it?

I haven't played it since I was like 12.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?

Yesterday.

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast?

Slow and steady wins the race.

Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Somewhat.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?

Obv.

Do you find it difficult to sleep?

Depends on my day.

What are you wearing?

Sweat pants & a long sleeve tee

Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?

Yep.

Would you pay someone to kill the last person who hurt you most?

Nah.

What is your favorite color?

Purple.

What color are your eyes?

Brwwwwn..

Do you think relationships are hard?

They can be.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?

It depends on what feelings they are.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?

Nope.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

Maybe.

Has anyone told you they don't wanna ever lose you?

Yep, sure did lose me too.

Have you ever kissed someone you weren't dating?

Ha, funny story...

Do you truly hate anyone?

No.

Did you like anyone last summer?

Michael.

Will tomorrow be good?

I'll be busy with school

Who can make you feel better in a difficult situation?

Mom,

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

HA 1.5 hours.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can't/wont?

Yep.

Is there anyone you couldn't go a day without talking to?

No.

When was the last time someone said you were cute?

Last night.

It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?

BEZER'S

Do you believe what goes around comes around?

Somewhat.

Are you mad at someone right now?

Yep.

Is there someone you want to fight?

Sorta.

Is there someone that you can trust with all your secrets?

Nope.

Is there a guy that knows everything about you?

Not anymore.

Are you in a good mood?

I'm exhausted.

Anything you're giving up on?

Not yet.

Can you go in public looking like you do?

Yeaaah.

Where were you at 2:00am this morning?

Having a fucking blast.

How is your heart lately?

Beating and keeping me alive.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Brotherrr.

Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap?

Story of my life.

Do you miss anyone?

I miss my dad.

Is your hair straight or curly?

Poofy hot mess.

Is it hard for you to be happy for someone else?

No.

Have you ever liked anyone older then you?

Yeeeerp.

You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?

I want my dad's hand writing on my wrist,

If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care?

HA. Fuck them.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

To See How Much Has Changed.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.Day Two: Nine things about yourself.Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).Day Seven: Four turn offs.Day Eight: Three turn ons.Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.Day Ten: One confession.

Ten Things To Say To Ten Different People:

1: You are the absolute, without a doubt, BEST dad I could have ever asked for. You coached my softball team, played sports with us every weekend, and never missed out on anything we were a part of, whether it be baseball/softball games, marching band, or Winterguard performances. I am such a lucky girl, to have a dad who was and is such a hard working, selfless, honorable man. I know very few who can say they're as lucky as I am. I love you daddy, forever and ever. You'll forever be with me, even though you're not here. <3

2: I feel like I am so lucky to have met you. You are absolutely my favorite person I have met in 2011 and I enjoy the little bit of time I have spent with you. The talk we had a few nights ago was such a significant thing and I can't say I've honestly had a talk that deep with someone in God knows how long. You're precious, no doubt.

3: Nucca Hottie. That sums everything up in two words. Loveyoumeanit.

4: It feels like I am once again losing my best friend. This happened last year when you got a boyfriend, and while I know this guy is different and you're head over heels in love with him, it sucks knowing I'm not worth much of your time anymore.

5: To the two parents that made me feel as though I was part of the family. Thank you for everything you've done for me, thank you for being there and listening to me talk about things when it got rough and thank you even more for giving me advice and telling me I'll be okay. I love ya'll with all my heart, and while I am not with Michael anymore, that will not change for the world. I have never felt more comfortable/at home with anyone else's family and the fact that you guys are still offering to be there for me makes me love you two so much more.

6: Don't know what I'd do without you Robert. You're the best big brother ever, even though we get a little diva towards each other and reach that #overit point.

7: You're one of my good friends, but no one likes a dog. Slow your roll, sweetheart.

8: I'm SO happy we've regained our friendship we had, even though we don't see each other anywhere near as much as we used to. I need to make my way back to the house to see Fatty, I miss him.

9: I miss you guys more than anything in this entire world. RG4L.

10: I honestly don't have the SLIGHTEST clue as to what I would do without you. You're super woman, and you always make sure we're taken care of and get to do whatever it is we want to do. You're the best mom in the world.

Nine Things About Yourself:

1-I am so proud of myself for getting my life back on track and in the order it needs to be.

2-Winterguard still completely owns my heart, and I will do anything I can to march this year.

3-I'm happy to finally be meeting new people and making the friends I didn't make last year.

4-I've turned into a social butterfly again.

5-Country music now has the key to my heart...and I would have never seen that one coming.

6-I'm such a sucker for a sweetheart.

7-Despite all the stress and loss I have experienced, I am still such a happy person and have such an amazing life.

8-That being said, I find it really hard to find sympathy for others when they come to with problems. If I don't hate my life after everything I've experience in the past year, you shouldn't hate yours.

9- I am happy. :)

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1-Be a sweetheart, I'm tired of dealing with assholes

2-Let me cuddle up to you and watch my favorite movie.

3-Sense of humor, please.

4-I love a smart bitch, don't waste your life and your education.

5-Don't smother me, I'm not going to double cross you.

6-BE LOYAL.

7-Enjoy yourself, and have the "boys night" when need be.

8-Trust me.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot:

1-Is this really real life?